Believe in me and this life, tell me everything will be alright...

It's so good to believe, we could turn it all around in one night, if only it we're so easy...
Some mistakes can be erased withing seconds, some take years and years.
Sometimes mistakes happen without you even knowing it, maybe what you thought was normal all these years is wrong and you have to change fast before it's too late. You couldn;t do it, it's not human nature, we're creatures of habit.

Where are you, i need you, i'd do anything for you...I'll put together everything that's broken just to see you, i'd take back even words unspoken...Come to me soon, time is passing.

When i close my eyes i see things, i can;t explain them, they are everyday situations but different. Things that could happen but they don't. Like my mind trying to trick me and alter my perception of reality. my mind is trying to alter my relationships with people, why is it playing this curel joke. So much of life deals with the realtionships you have with other people, both of you have to know where you stand with each other. Is it ok to hug hello, or kiss goodbye that sort of thing. If i see my realtionships with people being altered in my head and don;t catch it then it can really mess things up, if i hug someone hello when i've never set that standard it will alter how they see me, things will change. I dunno it's just weird is all.

Lately i've been changing, thinking more about who i am. I don't know why...well that's a lie i think i do but i'm not sure so i'm not going to say if that makes any sense...
but i digress. I'm trying to figure myself out and it;s bad cause in doing so i've been forgetting things and for example not doing something my dad's been after me to do and we had a little run in about it and i was snapping at him but then said that i was sorry and it was my fault i should have done it sooner but i just didn't. But this isn't important.
What's important is that i'm loosing sight of myself. Loosing that sense of myself that i valued so much. I know what i want to do in life and know how i want to do it, but i wonder if there's anything that i'm goign to miss. There is soo much that i want to do and that i will do but there is even more stuff out there that i will never do or ever think about doing it. there are so many options in life with advantages to each one. I think i've chosen the right path but you can never be sure about that now can you.

I'm thinking about how it's goign to be when i don't know the poeple that i know now. I would wish that i won't loose touch with anyone but i know that that;s not true. How's it goign to be when i'm not around here anymore, maybe i'll move away and i'd still know the people but they wouldn;t be close to me anymore, so much is unknown but hey that;s what makes life exciting right? right!

I used to speak so easy but no i'm afraid to talk to you. You come and go without me ever knowing who you are. I'll never know what happens in the dark but my fingers catch the spark at the thought of them touvching you... I walk with the worn, tired and weak, without you this is who i am, where are you, who are you. Come home....

Stirrrrrrrike

Huh, so after a week off to spend with friends and then a week back i get another week or so off depending on how negoiations go. Damn, i was just getting used to not doing any work! how am i goign to adjust! All this freaking free time, i dunno what to do with myself.......

-Pete-

Fuck This

SOrry for the language, I'm just in a bad mood right now. This world is too uptight for my tastes. Everything i do is either critisized or silently mocked it seems. WHY DO PEOPLE CARE SO FUCKING MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING. Can someone explain this too me. And why, oh why why why do we think aobut ourselves so much? i guess cause it goes back to darwin or someother brain who thought about god knows what. But I'm guilty of this too, we put ourselves first most of the time, thinking aobut how this affects us or whatever. I don't want to, i don't care about myself as much as others. I dunno like i said i'm in a bad mood. This is such an impersonal world. Tomorrow I'm going to go downtown and do something, i don;t even care what at this point. Who wants to come?

Forget this,

-Pete-

So many friends, yet oddly lonely

It's interesting how human emotions work. Tonight is thursday night and i'm here in my room by myslef at a little after 2:30 in the morning. Thursday is Pub night and i can;t go cause i'm not legal yet, i dun really care about that cause like i've said before i dun care if i miss out on drinking, i could do that here at rez but choose not to. What i dun like is the fact that i can't hang out with the people there, but anyways i don;t think that i'll like hanging out there anyways so i guess nothing lost, i was there a few times before they banned underagers and i didn't like it that much but hey w\e. It's late and i'm rambleing so pay no attention to me.

Alright, time for a deep philosophical thought....here it goes....i'll have one in a sec......Fuck this..........wait..........maybe........YES! I got it!! Listen up. I know you've heard it a million times beofre but maybe if you hear it from me you'll pay more attention to it. Be media aware, i know our generation is in tune to this and i think more so than any other and i say this because i look at our brothers and sisters, older and younger and it seems that they are all media drones, especially the younger ones. It's scary. It's like Big Brother only reversed. It's more like Brave New World, only instead of SOMA we have Television and other media. Big Brother isn't watching us, lurking in the shadows, instead he's right in front of us distracting us from what is real. What is happening right in front of us. I do have hope though, with show's on the air like the Daily show and Rick Mercer Report I don;t feel that Television is a lost medium. We need to make sure that our younger brothers and sisters are aware of the television distraction that big brother is shoving down our throats, we can;t just lie down and take it.

Alright, I'm spent,

Pete out.

Been a while eh?

Yeah i'd like to say that I've been busy but i really haven;t been if i think about it. Honestly i haven;t had that much work this semester. I'm going to class paying attention, the ocasional assignment but no papers yet, a few photo shoots but nothing to heavy. I love it Give me time to Keep up with my extra curriculars Year book is on a break right now, so is cheer, for 2 weeks that is. So that gives me time to Write a resume and do other things. Notice how i haven;t mentioned gives me time to Party or go out at night and get smashed, i mean one i'm not 19 so i can;t go to caps on thursday with people and number 2 i wouldn;t go and get wasted anyways. I dun like drinking that much to be honest, really overraated if you ask me. And you know what? When i'm looking at peoples profiles on this Plenty of fish site, yes i'm on it why not get to meet interesting ppl etc, anywasy i'm looking at girls profiles and tons of them list partying or drinking as one of thier interests Why does everyone love to get drunk? I don;t understand, going out with friends i can understand but going off with friends and getting drunk in a club, why? is it just so you can be all slutty and then blame it on being drunk, what;s the big attraction to it. And Guys, same goes for you. Guys can act all slutty too that's right in fact guys are worse. I've drank, i'm not about to critize some thing that i know nothing about. I've gotten drunk before, dun see the big attraction. Maybe it's because i like who i am and i don't need an exuse to act out of the social normacy that is forced upon us each day. People are so fucking uptight all the time. Not everyone but i'm talking bout most people. Also i'm not saying that i have no respect for people who like to get smashed, shitfaced, wasted or whatever you like to say. These people can be the nicest people ever and i'm friends with many people who like to party like that. I just want to ask what is the attraction? From time to time it's fine no problem i jsut don;t care to take part in it.
I believe that the reason people want to get drunk with friends and party like that is because they are not comfortable acting silly and stupid without an exuse. I'm sure i'm going to offend people with that statement but hey I'm sorry. What's your reason for doing it? I'm totally fine with being proven wrong.
Don't Drink and Drive. I'm happy to say in my experience i've never met anyone in my generation that isn;t totally aware of the dangers of it. All of them talk about how they would never let a friend drink and drive. I drove to a friends house on night, and there was drinking there, and they made sure that i didn't have anything at all, i had jsut gotten my G2 so i couldn't have any alchol in my sytem at all by law. I'm thankful for that. I think it's mostly stupid ass middle age men that are too proud to admit that they can;t do something. "I've driven for 40 years, I can handle driving after a few beers. Takes more than that to get me drunk" Fuck them. They aren;t the victims, the people they hit are. The families lives they ruin are.
I am thankful that my gereration seems to be on top of this epidemic, at least in my experience.

Take Care all,
Stay Safe,

-Pete-